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woodsy_mv6
 Post subject: Essex Girl
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:25 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:18 pm
Posts: 3409
Location: West Sussex. Drives: Too many man sized cars!!
Drives:
An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and

bleeding.

The paramedics soon arrive on site.

Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and I'm going to ask you some

questions?"

Girl: "OK"

Medic: "What's your name?"

Girl: "Sharon."

Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"

Sharon: "Yes."

Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"

Sharon: "Romford, mate."

_________________

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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meilack
 Post subject: Re: Essex Girl
PostPosted: Wed Aug 20, 2008 4:28 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2006 7:54 pm
Posts: 19134
Location: Didcot, Oxfordshire
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:lolz:

nice one
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woodsy_mv6
 Post subject: Re: Essex Girl
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:18 pm
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Location: West Sussex. Drives: Too many man sized cars!!
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Essex Girl enters a sex shop & asks for a vibrator.

The man says "Choose from our range on the wall."

She says "I'll take the red one."

The man replies "That's a fire extinguisher." :thumbsup:

_________________

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
ImageImageImage
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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woodsy_mv6
 Post subject: Re: Essex Girl
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:53 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:18 pm
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Location: West Sussex. Drives: Too many man sized cars!!
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Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend when they start to have a bit of a row, he calls her an old slapper so she whacks him one & says don't you ever call me an old slapper, get out of my bed & take your mates with you

_________________

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
ImageImageImage
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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woodsy_mv6
 Post subject: Re: Essex Girl
PostPosted: Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:54 am 
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Joined: Sun Dec 09, 2007 6:18 pm
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Location: West Sussex. Drives: Too many man sized cars!!
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Q: What's an Essex girls favorite wine?
A: aw go-on take me to lakeside please please go-on take me
Q: What's an Essex Girls form of protection?
A: Bus Shelters
Q: What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a Bag of Crisps?
A: You only get one bang out of a bag of crisps
Q: How may Essex girls does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?.
A: Five. One to make the mixture and Four to peel the Smarties.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and a washing machine?
A: A washing machine doesn't follow you around for weeks after you've dumped your load in it.
Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex?
A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?"
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?
A: An ironing boards legs are difficult to part.
Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?
A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.
Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her feet.
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a plate of spaghetti?
A: Spaghetti moves when you eat it.
Q: What does an Essex girl do with her not a very nice person after sex?
A: She takes him down the pub.
Q: What makes an Essex girls eyes light up?
A: A torch shone in her ear.
Q: How do you know when an Essex girl's had an orgasm?
A: She drops her bag of chips.
Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?
A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.
Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?
A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.
Q: An Essex girl is driving along and asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere warm, wet and smelly.
A: He tells her that it's to late to drive to Canvey Island.
Q: Why do Essex girls wear knickers.
A: To keep there ankles warm.

_________________

Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
ImageImageImage
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
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