sorry if anyone gets offended.. there just joke.. plus im irish and i like the paddy and murphy ones
two fish in a tank one say to the other...."how do you drive this?"
my uncles a $hit ventriloquist, he stick his finger up my bum but then tells me not to say anthing. whats that all about?!
paddy and murphy and in the jungle by a river, they see a mans head sticking out of a crocodile. paddy says to murphy "look at that flash bas**rd with his lacoste sleeping bag"
paddy and murphy are in a helicopter, paddy says to murphy "can you see that forest down there" and murphy says "no, theres too many trees in the way"
paddy and murphy walking along the woods, paddy falls down a hole... murphy shouts" paddy...is it dark down there"....paddy shouts back" i dont know i cant see anything"!!
paddy and murphy outside a bar... paddy say to murphy " if you can guess how many beers are behind my back ill give you both of them..."
a nun get on a bus thats empty except for the driver. she says" im going to die soon but i want sex before i do, but i must remain a virgin so it must be ana!, and i cant commit adultery so you must be single, can you forfill my wish?"
yes says the driver and does her up the ar$e, then feeling guilty says " im sorry i lied im married with 3 kids"...."thats ok say the nun.. i lied too my names dan and im going to a fancy dress party"
scientists have discovered a direct link between the DNA of shrimps and the genetic make up of women. their heads are full of shit but the pink bits taste loverly.
cant believe it. just been thrown out and barred for the local swimming baths because i had my "speedo" trunks on...how was i supposed to know the "p" came off?
bought myse;f a new roll on deodorant today. instructions said ' take off top and push up bottom'..........
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im still in casualty so ill call you later on.