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| Aussie Tourism questions https://www.fiesta-si.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=13259 |
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| Author: | woodsy_mv6 [ Thu Oct 23, 2008 1:25 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Aussie Tourism questions |
The questions below about Australia are from potential visitors. They were posted on an Australian Tourism Website and the answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who obviously have a sense of humour. __________________________________________________ Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK). We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around & watch 'em die. __________________________________________________ Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA) Depends how much you've been drinking. __________________________________________________ I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks (Sweden)? Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water. __________________________________________________ Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK) What did your last f=#kin' slave die of mate? __________________________________________________ Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA) A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not ... Ah f#*k it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Which direction is North in Australia? (USA) Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions. _________________________________________________ Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK) Why? Just use your fingers like we do. __________________________________________________ Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA) Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is ... Ah F*#k it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked. __________________________________________________ Can I wear high heels in Australia? (UK) If you are a British politician, yes... __________________________________________________ Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA) Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets. ________________________________________________ I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA) It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking. __________________________________________________ I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA) Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather. __________________________________________________ Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy) Yes, gay night clubs. __________________________________________________ Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France) Only at Christmas. __________________________________________________ I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? (USA) Yep, but you will still have to pay her by the hour mate. __________________________________________________ Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA) Yeah, but you'll have to bleedin' learn it first. |
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