No matter how often this one comes around, it always cracks me up
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| The Latest Original Joke thread - post your own https://www.fiesta-si.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=12347 |
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| Author: | 1210tech [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | The Latest Original Joke thread - post your own |
I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Winalot Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me. I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door. Stupid cow..........why else would I buy fqing dog food?? |
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| Author: | woodsy_mv6 [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: latest joke - heard this and had to share |
No matter how often this one comes around, it always cracks me up
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| Author: | 1210tech [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:41 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: latest joke - heard this and had to share |
I went into Clinton cards today. I said to the woman behind the counter, "Do you sell bereavement cards?" She said, "Yes, sir." So I said, "Great, could I exchange one for this get well soon card I bought yesterday?" |
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| Author: | 1210tech [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: latest joke - heard this and had to share |
Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there. |
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| Author: | meilack [ Thu Aug 07, 2008 3:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Re: latest joke - heard this and had to share |
nice jokes 
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| Author: | 1210tech [ Sun Aug 10, 2008 1:22 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Latest Original Joke - post your own |
You are driving at a constant speed. On your left is a sheer drop, On your right is a fire engine travelling the same speed as you, In front of you is a galloping pig the same size as your car, Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. What must you safely do to get out of this highly dangerous situation? Get the fook off the merry go round you pissed up barsteward!!!!
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