Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
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8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!

11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
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Day 983 of my captivity.

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.

However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now...

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My ebay stuff


Is that the best you can do?
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2000 V70 T5 SE - 2.3, 5 cylinder, 20V, VVT, Turbo, 250bhp, cream leather, climate control, the works!

[lmfao]


thats made me chuckle

[lol] Thats good, me like!

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RIP Ben. Gone but not forgotten.

SportKA - I've driven one and its deffinately a Girls car

Ford Fair 2010 0-60 7.45 secs Trek 4100

Save the trees, wipe your arse with a Cosworth

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My ebay stuff


Is that the best you can do?
-
2000 V70 T5 SE - 2.3, 5 cylinder, 20V, VVT, Turbo, 250bhp, cream leather, climate control, the works!

Thats why men are so much like dogs....nice and simple! hahaha!!!

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o yea? and women are evil bent on taking over the world or something??? yup your right becks, does sound about right!!!lol

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i agree with the nice and simple thing

but not all of us are dogs[look][cry]

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Breaking Standard Si
http://www.fiesta-si.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=7079