Excerpts from a Dog's Diary.....


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people!My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
What a wonderful day! Cheers! Max xxxooo

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...


Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, nevertheless, I must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I vomited on the carpet again.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I can do. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards!!!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. He avoided disaster by being nimble. I must try this again tomorrow -- but, at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and, seems to be more than willing to return. Obviously, he is developmentally delayed and a fool. If it were me, I would not return except when I get hungry.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, a cage, so he is safe. For now, Socks xxoo

_________________


Quote Clarkson, Top Gear, 17th July: "I'm not having a stroke... just driving a Nissan!"
Quote Ry, Mallory Park, 3rd Dec: "Ahhhh crap... Just a bit too over eager really!"
"I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I took an arrow in the knee"

Brilliant

Ha ha, iv read something like that before, cats are very hard to please at first lol