Firstly
http://www.11points.com/Dating-Sex/11_S ... BackgroundAnd secondly.
The other day I was cruising along as usual in my Subaru coming onto one of my motorways, which was very busy with inferior cars.
First off, I couldn't believe the volume of traffic, approaching 100mph as I came off the slip road I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! (The driver of the car behind me did realise his mistake though and honked and waved in admiration with a long blast of his horn.)
Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the Subaru lane. (Why do underlings use this lane? Surely everyone knows it is for Subaru drivers only?)
Anyway, once I was in the Subaru lane and posing along at 110mph wondering if the mafs working and waiting for the bang, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the Subaru lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph!
Naturally, I got to within a foot or so of his rear bumper(to check both driving lights were working in the reflection) and flashed my headlights to remind him he shouldn't be in the Subaru lane of my motorway and to get out of my way(If this still doesnt work follow up with a couple of sharp blasts on the accelerator causing bov to dump in succession)
Of course, once he realised it was a Subaru behind him,and i were likely to crash into him he pulled over but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out behind me! He also tried to keep up with me and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill (so what he`d been to halfords)and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder(-a lane i only usually use when the other 3`s busy) so that he could congratulate me on my excellent shine/driving(pmsl).
Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast to the point where he wanted my autograph-i was happy to oblige and apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I have to go to court and my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on! (They're not free points either -
they're £20 each and I was only allowed 3 however due to the honour of appearing in court for extra fame i have to pay up for court costs also-but respect dont come easy so youve gotta take the rough with the smooth.) But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a Subaru, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points , and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See, now THAT's the sort of respect you get when you buy and drive a Subaru.
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