A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'
Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'
Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'
Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)
Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'
Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'
Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'
Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'
Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'
Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'
Ozzie: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'
Ozzie: (in a panic)'The sheep's a f*ckin' liar......'
Some people are like slinkies. Not really good for anything, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.